WTHeck Series Pt. 4 Lessons from a Heartbreak

“Like the Dawn, She Will Rise”

Hello Hello Beautiful People! I hope you all are doing well! So this will officially be the last post of my series, “What The Heck Does It Mean To Be Loved By God And Why Is It So Important?”

The last thing I want to discuss with y’all is the thing I named this blog post about.” Lessons From a Heartbreak.” As I have walked my almost twenty years of life, (is four months away too soon to start rounding up your age? Asking for a friend.) heartbreak is one thing I know quite well. It’s painful. It’s ugly, yet many of the romance movies and literature of this era are beginning to romanticize it, taint it with a pink Rosé-esque glow. They allude here that the process of healing as easy as a one-time chocolate ice cream binging, ugly-cry session, and then you’ll be completely okay; however, it is nowhere near as quick of a process. Trust me, I’ve walked through numerous cases of heartbreak, and it has never been as quick to get over as one ugly-cry session and one box of chocolates inhaled and I’m fine. I wish it were that simple.

These cases of heartbreak in Hollywood are quick to jump over the nights where you are sobbing in the shower and barely holding on to what little of reality you have left. They hurdle over the nights where you question why on Earth you aren’t good enough. They shuffle around why men and women alike go to great lengths to find love. And God forbid, they tackle the emotional damage heartbreak can leave on a person.

But hey, that’s what I’m here for. This is something I want y’all to understand: With breakups, heartbreak, etc. it is going to take time. The healing process is never going to be easy, but when it is placed in the hands of the Lord, you will find what true fulfillment, growth, healing, and strength feels like.

Let’s be real, these heartbreak seasons suck. Period. There’s no beating around the bush, nor easy way to get through them. Period. However, they teach irreplaceable life lessons that wouldn’t have been known have we not walked through them. With that being said, allow me to tell you my most recent season of heartbreak and the lessons God has taught me because of it.

When I first started writing this, I was really hesitant because I honestly felt really insecure about this post. I was hesitant about writing it out of fear of judgment and the mere feeling of ludicrousness from the reality of the situation.

Capital LOL, it was a mess.

Want to know why? It’s because I fell HEAD OVER HEELS in love with a guy whom I never even went on a date with. (Ouch.) He was someone I trusted and was my best friend, and he only saw me as just that, a friend. (Double Ouch.)

Honestly, I don’t handle rejection well, like at all. But God is greater than that. He showed me why I had to walk through that rejection in order for Him to teach me what I need to know and get me to where I needed to be. Thank goodness. Now it wasn’t easy, and sometimes I wish the lessons could have appeared on a magic Eight-ball or something, but God showed me how frail I am and how truly powerful He is with these lessons. These lessons are:

  1. How far God is willing to go to show/ teach us a lesson
  2. How much He truly loves us/ love like Him in present-day action
  3. How to love like God loves, even if it isn’t reciprocated
  4. How much I truly needed to be bent and pushed to the breaking point to see who He sees me as

Lesson 1: So the first thing I want to discuss is the lengths God goes to in order to show us/ teach us a lesson. In the Bible, the story of Jonah is one that really shows this theme; however, I don’t know about you, but I am not going to be swallowed by a big fish in Southeast Arkansas anytime soon, so it was hard for me to wrap my head around the theme of the lesson. The beauty of this story is that he used an unlikely circumstance and a continuous pursuit of Jonah to show how far he will go to show His people something. God humbled Jonah and softened his hard heart, did the same thing to me through this unique circumstance. In my case, he used an almost relationship to teach me how to love and how much He truly loves His people. 

Lesson 2: So along with how much I needed to be shown a lesson, I needed to be shown how to love someone purely and in a Godly way– a way that has no ulterior motives behind it– just love. What I mean by that is when I was younger, I looked at relationships in light of what I could get from the other person, not what I could do for them. For example, deep down I looked at relationships as a way to derive happiness and have a place of security. I thought that if I could have my person I could have happiness and some security. And when you love someone to get something out of the relationship you love them selfishly, not in the way we are called to–the agape way. In Mark 12:31 it states, “The second is this, love your neighbor as your self.” In the Greek language (the language the New Testament was written in) agape is the word used here. Agape love is sacrificial. It’s selfless. It’s the love that God loves us with AND it’s the love that God calls us to love with. Ouch. Tell me isn’t it hard to love someone so purely that you want solely their benefit, their happiness, their well-being, EVEN IF it means that it may not be with you, at this current time, or _________. You have to love the flawed person for who they are, not what they can do for you. And you cannot place unrealistic expectations on the relationship/the other person, for it will only cause strain and heartache. Double Ouch.

You have to love the flawed person for who they are, not what they can do for you.

The third lesson is this: How to Love Someone Even if it Isn’t Reciprocated. In this situation, this guy and I were really great friends and I developed really strong feelings for him the more I got to know him. As time passed, those feelings developed a love for this person, but this love was different than what I had ever felt before– it was something new. I knew his feelings for me weren’t mutual, and yet I loved him and chose to do what’s best for him anyway. It wasn’t easy, but allow me to give an example: one of my character flaws is my lack of patience, yet I wanted to be patient for him.

The amazing thing is: God loves us ALL like this. He knows that some of us are going to reject Him. He knows some are going to turn away from Him, doubt His character, and deem Him unworthy of being followed, and yet He loves us all and wants the good for us all no matter if He is rejected or not.  That is the beautiful love–the agape love– that He loves us with. It’s self-sacrificial, and it needed to be felt by me, so I’d know in full His love for me.  

It needed to be felt by me, so I’d know in full His love for me. 

And though it was not mutually returned… at least not in the way I had hoped, this taught me how to love in the most unselfish, beautiful way possible.

The last lesson that I want to discuss with y’all is how He showed me the most innate parts of my character I had been downplaying for years. For years, I never truly believed how strong I was. There was this false reality that I was living in that deemed me as weak. I don’t know why, but one thing I’ve realized is that we, human beings, downplay our strengths, and to this day, I have no clue why God chose this particular situation, but He showed me that that false reality I was living in was wrong. The boy’s opinion of me was wrong, and that I am going to rise from the ashes of a destroyed future that I thought I wanted. This goes deeper than just a boy. I thought I wanted to get married right after college and be a newlywed whilst building my career as a teacher, but when this dream was destroyed, I realized quickly how much that dream really wasn’t for me, to begin with.

I’ve always been a free-spirit. I’ve always dreamed of something big, and I realized how settling down and teaching for the next thirty years was not going to be the noble calling that He had called me to do. With the reality and the hope of the future I built up in my head about this relationship destroyed, the soul searching I did showed in full how much I actually didn’t want the future I designed. With me being shaken up, torn down and redirected, God used that to point me on the path for the future I actually need to be on.

“Like the Dawn, She Will Rise” is one of my favorite quotes, and extremely relevant in this situation. And just like how the Sun rises daily, I know all of you can rise too. Maybe you’re like me and just got your heart stomped on, maybe you’ve just lost sight of who you are, maybe you’re confused about what to do with God, with life, etc., but I can assure you this: you have the strength to keep on rising– even when life is falling apart. God will be there every step of the way, and HE WILL heal you, grow you, and get you on the right path to redemption and purpose. All you have to do is trust Him, submit to Him, and walk in faith that He will provide. Who knows, maybe you’ll be like me and be rerouted to something completely different and something completely better for your life. Or maybe He will fix the situation you’re stuck in and restore it to its former glory. Who knows, all things are possible with God. All you got to do is give Him the reigns.

And that my friends, is amazing. I love you all bunches and I hope you all are doing well. I want y’all to know you are loved dearly by me and the God above. Thank you all for reading, and if y’all enjoyed this post please sign up for my Email list below or on my Homepage, so that you will get updates on my next post. Love you all bunches!


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