Gut Wrenching and Honest Revelations and Some Encouragement for Those Who Need It

Hello, Hello beautiful people! I hope you are all doing well! For starters, I want to apologize for my absence. For the past two weeks, we have been playing softball games on Sundays and Mondays; therefore, it has been a challenge to post and stay on top of school work. Also, last weekend was my birthday and I spent a majority of my weekend with my family.

So before we dive on in to today, I really want to give you a forewarning: this post is one I’m actually very nervous to write, however, I feel though it desperately needs to be said. (You ever have those moments where Jesus really speaks loud and clear about something that needs to be done, even if you’re really hesitant to do it? This is me now. So as I am writing this, I am praying with every fiber of my being that my words are clear and His glory is revealed and His name is praised and not my struggles be appraised through this.

I say all of that with a purpose. I am now officially nineteen years old. I have been in love once, and I have been out of the “dating ring” per say for 2 and a half years. Therefore, this a post that more than likely be updated within the years to come and solely based off of observations I have made and lessons I have learned within the past few weeks.

With that being said, let’s dive on in.

As I said in the paragraph above, I am currently single and have been for approximately 2 and a half years. In the beginning I really hated it. I had just gotten out of a breakup and really missed the connection I had and the all of the good times we shared. As the time progressed and God closed a few doors that in the time seemed like great options, I really began to feel the weight of being alone. There is something about feeling alone that is really frightening. I empathize so greatly for those who have a legitimate fear of dying alone. I know how you feel, and I know what you are going through.

Now I am going to flash forward a little bit into time. After a few closed doors and some time, I began to realize that I really needed to address some hurts and brokenness surrounding my heart before I could ever give my all into a relationship again. Thanks be to God for getting me to Monticello at just the right time (God’s timing really is perfect) because at the Bible study I go to on Monday nights we did a study by Lysa Terkhurst  and it allowed God to help me realize and take control of the healing process for my heart. This process has not been the easiest thing ever, but it definitely been a very necessary thing. Now on the other side of that process, there was this new wave of fear that began to attack my heart. You see, not only have I been on the lonely and longing side of the spectrum, but recently I have been on the other side. Even though God has been opening up doors for me to walk through and I have been very blessed in other areas in my life, slowly and suddenly all at once I began to let go on the hope of being in love again and becoming comfortable with the idea of being alone and a dog mom for the rest of my life. I began to think “I have great friends, a loving family. There is no need for love in a romantic sense to enter into my life.” And though it is true that my family is great and so are my friends, there is a genuine and deep connection that lost if we choose to never allow love in. It certainly may be easier, but it certainly is not what God’s best for us is.

You see during that time where I didn’t want love come into my life, I was more scared of being broken again rather than what experiencing what love truly is. I saw the statistics of the divorce rates. I saw the heartbreak in some of my friends lives. I know the pain of a broken heart and I had no intention of going through it or putting anyone else through that pain. In my eyes, I had everything I need and all the love I could give was given to my friends and family. It was like I built these walls around my heart in regard to romantic relationships rather than realize the potential of what beauty they could hold. During this time, I actually could feel my heart take flight and run from any hopes of being loved again, and I am not proud but it is the truth.

But God Gently Shook Me Straight 

Here’s the thing: During either one of these times I had no clue what romantic love is. I had bought so heavily into what society deemed what love looked like that I had never learned what God had created these relationships for. And the thing is I’m still learning. In the same Monday Bible study, we are studying The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition, and it has been revolutionary. God is really using this study and our Monday nights to really break down those walls and show me what is really going on. And when I say this, I am also stating that I in no way have all of the answers, but I do know this: Love is a choice. Love is something God placed into our lives because He wanted us to make connections and not be alone. Love is something we not only feel, but there is a desperate need to actively do.

You see, love is not something that magically happens to us and it is a fairytale ending and everything is perfect and there is a white picket fence, a smile on everyone’s faces and you will gaze into your partner’s eyes with love from the moment you meet till the day you die, but rather love is a choice to actively choose to love someone for the rest of your life.

In the Bible, there is a whole chapter in 1st Corinthians that discusses love and what God had created it to be. I’m going to post the whole chapter on here (its not long I promise) and italicize some crucial points.

(BEAR WITH ME I HAVE A POINT)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love is by far a powerful force. It is what God chooses to do to with us, even though we do things daily to mess up and not deserve it. Love is the greatest accomplishment us as humans can ever accomplish. It is also the greatest commandment Jesus gives us to do (Luke 10:27). And even if you are brokenhearted, even if you are single, even if you haven’t felt loved in years, that doesn’t mean you are too broken, to ever feel it. I know I have more talking about romantic relationships here, but I want to broaden the scope here: love in its most basic form is a choice. You can either give it, receive it, or flee from it, it is solely up to you what you do. Love is a truly beautiful thing and I strongly recommend seeking the Creator of it, for you will feel it in abundance. If you are broken He will heal you. If you are struggling, He will uphold you. If you are joyous He will rejoice with you. God is love, and His love is reckless. He will chase after those whom He loves with a reckless abandon to bring them home. Trust me, and trust that if you are lonely or brokenhearted or running from love that God is going to provide comfort, healing, and make you realize it is worth running toward not away from. And that my friends is amazing. I hope you all will heed my message and know that this is something you can actively choose to do.

 

With that being said, I hope you all have a wonderful week, and if you would like to talk about anything I have written, need advice or honestly want to talk about anything, I am here. I love you all and I am praying for you all! Thank you and God bless!